Is it just me or does the computer screen glow brighter when you just stare at it? Just sit and stare, that’s what I have been doing for about 10 minutes now. It’s not writers block. I wish that were it. I would be a Spotify sound track away from cranking out blog posts like a professional, which I am not...at all. The truth is, I am just tired. I am drained. I am checked out to anything other than the absolute minimum of adulting.
I have been bogged down lately and I’m not sure if it’s just in my perspective, but guilt has only made that feeling worse. The hardest part is that people don’t really talk about it. They are all in this mindset to succeed and admitting that you might be struggling counters the feeling of success. Now I see this in my life more aggressively because I am a business owner and my everyday success, my very lively hood is a direct result of my efforts, or lack thereof. However, it’s not just business owners and it is not just monetary success that ebb and flow. It’s every woman out there. The working mom who is behind on laundry because she is just too busy, or the goal of a bed time story being nothing more than a memory from when you were still pregnant. It’s house work piling up and dodging Maire Kondo articles to avoid the guilt of your dresser drawers.
The last two weeks have brought me to the conclusion that the more pressure with no compassion you put on yourself, the harder it is to break out of the rut. I am by no means the wallow in my struggles kind of gal. I do think that it is okay to struggle though. It’s okay to not have it all together and to step outside of your beautifully put together for a brief moment. Take some time to realize that life is crazy and having to maintain it kind of sucks. Even I don’t always want to clean my house and I’m the crazy cleaning lady. My advice, let it all go for a few days. Take some time to not do it all. Don’t clean, don’t do the laundry. Yeah, that’s right, bust out the old t-shirt and rock it. Feed the kids junk food and don’t give a shit. What is the worst that can happen? You will end up having to clean, or brush your teeth at some point? Might as well put it off for a little while. Have a break or even a break down. Just make sure no one comes over to your messy house so you can break down comfortably.